This is a love story.... Umm Been writing this for a while, my longest yet! took a whole day to write lol:P Umm This is the poem i will be reciting at many venues. If you have any questions, just ask :) Feel free to quote anything and add as your status whatever :) Poetri P
I remember the first time I laid eyes on you
And I caught you slipping
I caught youCatching me, Catching you , Checking me out
And for that split second the big hand stopped ticking
And all I could think about was.....Damn, who’s your friend??!?
And also for that split second, I was ignorant
I became like every other man
I ignored the answer right in front of my eyes
But when it ticked, it made sense
And so, we made a connection.....
Something strong I sensed as she danced.
Can’t turn away.
Hypnotized by her innocent yet crude charm
So let me continue, I whispered in her ear
I want to get in you....with every conversation, thought and touch.
And one thing led to another and we finally ....held hands.
Hands interlocked like zippers
We fitted like jigsaw pieces to an exotic portrait.
Even now I sand down the edges of our jigsaw parts that used to only fit each other
Because I can’t stomach the feeling of you being with another guy right now.
But even he can’t stop time by holding your hand.
Some people read hands to tell futures,
But I read her palm to tell her past...Hoping I could be the roots to her future.
It’s funny, we didn’t even have to speak just...... smile a little.
She knew when I was not okay and when I was acting.
Abstract reality
Together we grew...younger
We spoke as fast as hummingbirds
And when she gasped for air I simply, inhaled her all back into me.
The best part....We were Lost in translation but still spoke the same language.
That language I could not tell you, for you would need to find it yourself.
It’s the type of love, love that makes lemons become sweet.
There’s nothing more beautiful in the way the ocean refuses to kiss the shoreline no matter how many times it is sent away.
So I pray one day I wake up in the morning and when I blink my eyes...
your smile is the only one I see.
I know we live in different worlds and I know we are always really busy but in my dreams you spin around me so fast....
I wake up dizzy.
Maybe it’s all the pirouettes you did around me.
But even when you walked, you had a hiccup in your swagger.
Which made my watch tick like a metal pulse against my wrist
.I want to be there with you to share every single one of your sunshine’s and save some for later...
Even tuck some in my shirt pocket and give you when the rain starts to fall.
Why did I write this?
When I think about you...all I want to do is pick up a pen and dream.
A teacher once told me... ”Raymond, stop planning the book and Write the damn book
I love this poem, you're a true artist.
ReplyDeleteThank-you very much. Be Inspired
ReplyDeleteI wonder if this poem is about someone special.. its really good. well done.
ReplyDeleteIt was about someone...
ReplyDeleteWhat is..."pseudo intellectuality"?
This is Raymond btw
hmm deep...
ReplyDeletei like how you deleted that plaigerised sham of a review by the way.
ReplyDeletejust encase you forget (due to the fact that you deleted my previous response) a pseudo intellectual is somebody who does things to look intelligent.
but it's ok, because people eat out of your palm don't they. like when you said ucas gave your place to someone else when your grades were clearly just not good enough.
i'm sure people will still think you're cool for some reason though detweiler.
I didnt claim it to be mine and i clearly put where it was from.
ReplyDeleteI deleted it because who ever you are, you havent got enough courage to tell me who you are...
Cleary you are a fool because i had a meeting about what happened to my ucas application. Who are you?
Oh thankyou to every that enjoyed reading this by the way.
ReplyDeleteRemember to be inspired in everything you do, see or hear.
We are all individauls and have a gift; that gift is to be ourselves no matter what one may say or do. Hate is a sin and fruit which falls from the forbidden tree... Love and encourage as life ends in a breathe.
"I'm just like anyone. I cut and I bleed. And I embarass easily."-Michael jackson
I don't aim to be the popular kid... I aim to be myself. I love to laugh... I hate being hated. So to whoever keeps writing personal comments on my blog- just simply reveal yourself for you would feel hard done if I were to....
first of all, i'm not surprised you've quoted someone else to explain your actions because you're not actually creative enough to do it yourself.
ReplyDeletesaying things like "love and encourage as life ends in a breathe" is exactly the kind of thing i'm talking about. you say things like they are going supposed to be quoted, which is just big-headed. you act like you're so influential when realistically you're just an americanised boy who follows the american mainstream before it hits england's. your dancing for example.
i would apologise if this cuts you deep 'poetri,' it just has to be said.
you'll probably put a spin on this be saying that i'm some sort of 'hater' which is ridiculous. i'm not a 'hater' i'm just not passive idiot who looks up to your little dances and amusing poetri.
nice spray-paint background by the way, it really complements the whole 'urban' feel you're trying to put across to your public.
p.s. i like how you've got the balls to actually write back this time.
-Love&Dance
^^JK
:) I will not lie... I live life as a movie. Each bit of my life has to have some kind of significance. So yes, your statement about being a quote is infact true. But saying that I follow the american mainstream before england is not true. If you say that then I guess you could say that to anyone. It did not cut me deep at all. It actually made me smile. :) Because dance and poetry to me has been influenced deeply by other cultures.
ReplyDeleteYou are not a hater at all.... A hater is one that hates for no reason. But you have explained why you don't like me or my work that much. :) You have actually made me smile. Okay one... you can call me an idiot but not people that love what I do. For that is unfair. Why call someone a passive idiot for just enjoying something that means something to them.
Hehe thankyou...i couldn't find something that i liked. It was either that or pictures of myself hahaha lool.
I wrote back because I actually like you. Thats probably why you are a friend on my facebook.:)
I like that you have prob added this page to your favs haha or check your email a lot to see if i have written back.
I hope JK are your initials rather than "just kidding"
Lovepeace&soul :P
RP
A.K.
ReplyDeleteA.K.?
ReplyDeletesaying things like "i live my life like a movie" is yet another perfect example of how you try to sound epic. you're not.
ReplyDeleteit's a shame that the fans that you've managed to gain throughout your hilarious phases aren't fans of raymond, the quiet boy who's done nothing to be noticed for the past 9 years. rather they stupidly love poetri, detweiler, the boy ate the world, kid fresh and so on (until the next fad comes around). you're nothing but a social construct.
you're just another boy who likes kanye west.
you and i both know you didn't get the grades to get into university. don't lie to me. just like you're lying when you say you enjoy (or enjoi) reading this. you're just saying that so when your minions look at this they don't see that you're just a sad little boy who's been exposed for the fake that he is.
you need to sort your life out before this stupid facade takes over it.
"What came first the chicken or the egg? The answer is a Circle has no begining" <- you're not philosophical just because you study it. you're not deep and emotional, you just try to sound it.
oh, and don't call me the "other" and plaster this heavily edited joke of a blog all over facebook and claim that you enjoy writing back to this string of truths when you clearly don't.
the fact i have to take so much time out of my life to finally tell you what a joke you really are is quite sad. there's just so much to write though! you do so much pretentious stuff. this is just scratching the surface.
you egotistical, pompous tool.
Haha Excellent... listen Other, I call you that because you havent revealed yourself.
ReplyDeleteI do not try to collect fans or whatever. So whoever you may be, you have not really got to know me. You have just drawn your own conclusions on what you think about me...Maybe i hurt you, I dont know(you tell me).
Name me someone who is isn't affected by social/media events? Its a huge factor now... How could you say that, that is what I'm about?
You fool, something happened to my Performing Arts grade. Is that all you can mention?? (seems like it)
Listen other, I actually enjoi writing back to you.... You Have waited for a long time to express your feelings about me, or anyone else you dislike. Not because you are a hater but more importantly because you are jealous :)
It's understandable... you were at the back while others were at the front achieving the most in life. You were the person with there boyfriend/girlfriend for a long term, while others were having fun. You were the person people never took advice from. You were simply.... carpet. Looked down upon.
Why won't you reveal yourself?? Is it because you are scared that the few friends you have now will think different about you?
hehe egotistical, pompous tool.
*my reply*
Stoopid, intellectual, jealous fool.
Write Back
- you're not from boston, ma.
ReplyDelete- you don't speak flemish.
- you don't speak afrikaans.
- you don't know 'lingua de sinais do zimbabue.'
- you didn't get the grades to get into university.
- you didn't have a meeting about your ucas grades.
- you're outright obnoxious.
- you've been 'carpet' for the last nine years.
- you're not a fashion icon for anybody.
- your dancing is just another phase.
- your 'poetry' is just another phase.
- your basketball is just another phase.
- your tennis is just another phase.
- your so-called intellectualism is just another phase.
- your life isn't a film and it never will be.
- you're not going to get quoted by anybody ever.
- your blog is another stereotypical outlet for your misrepresentation of yourself.
- you were never my head boy.
- your philosophical insight is poor.
- you're not american, no matter how you present yourself.
- you're just another little boy who likes kanye west.
- you're just another person who blindly loves obama.
- you've spent the better part of your teenage years trying to be something you're not.
- you're not 'detweiler.'
- you're not 'the boy who ate the world.'
- you're not 'kidfresh.'
- you're not 'poetri.'
you're just another raymond.
i'm not the only person who feels this way. it's not jealousy as you'd like to believe. this is just the first time anybody has had the chance to confront your ego in the comfort of anonymity.
i hope you enjoy this comment, i've mentioned you enough.
By far the worst argument you have put forward.
ReplyDeletePure jealousy...wow. There is no other word to describe it haha.
I'm glad i wasn't your headboy.
I love how u have guessed half that stuff....
You fool. Seeing as you know more about me....Where was i brought up?? and where have i lived?
What languages do I speak?
please tell me... i think i have forgotten myself.
Are you God maybe??
or are you just some paedo...? *hide your families, ur kids, their raping everybody*
haha anyway.. seeing as your not gona reveal yourself hahahah cough*coward*
sooo, other... how does it feel wanting to be like me? I've never asked anyone this. But seeing as im in the comfort of anonymity, it feels just right to ask. oh yeah.. when you next see me.. wipe my shoes:P seeing as you will checking out what i am wearing.
If you have never used a nickname before, then you have not lived yet. Everyone that I know has used a nickname.
anyway... seeing as you are guessing half the stuff about me... I'm going to guess half the stuff about you.
hmm where do i begin.
I think you look up to people and persuade yourself that you are just as good. But when it comes to speaking up... all you can do is simply, nod.
I think you are scared of something... Or you have a crush on me:P *hinted by fans of this blog*
I think i beat you at something...
I think i'm a better friend than you.
I think you are a WASTEMAN...hahah sorry that was for comedic purposes.
haha When you reveal yourself... then i will respect you. But for now i respect the crap my brothers stand in when they are in the park.
I can go on forever.
And if u are wasting time out of urlife to write to me.. then why do it?
Do u love me that much to be waking up in the early hours????
ohyeah... before i forget my friend.
You know you said noone will ever quote me??
Guess what..You have this whole time u have spoken to me.
love&dance my friend
"the boy who ate the planet"
I hope you pick up a bible and pray for help.
Beinspired
WOW can't we all just get along, this someone should be bold and reveal themselves
ReplyDeleteExactly what i am saying... but noooooooooo
ReplyDeleteyou didn't win btw
ReplyDeleteWin what?
ReplyDeleteI think you lost ray
ReplyDelete